diary entry #4
October 2024
I will cut adrift--
I will sit on pavements
and drink coffee--
I will dream; I will take
my mind out of its iron
cage and let it swim--
this fine October
- Virginia WoolfDear Diary,
Another month has come and gone, and this one in particular flew by especially quickly. I spent these last 30 days reading tragic love stories, watching comfort movies, and spending time with the people I love. I tried to make the focus of this month hope. I’ve been feeling very hopeful, and I’d like to carry that feeling into November (hopefully!) (See what I did there)
I watched a lot of movies, read two books, and, as always, listened to a lot of music. I’ve included everything here, and hopefully you’ll find a new favorite song or a book/movie that you enjoy :)
Film
I watched a lot of movies this month, so I’ll only be touching on some notables.
Alice (1988) ★★★★★
A quiet young English girl named Alice finds herself in an alternate version of her own reality after chasing a white rabbit.
This is a film that has followed me from seventh grade. It’s a Czech adaptation of Alice in Wonderland. I somehow found it somewhere on the internet and fell in love with it. I’ve probably seen it upwards of 10 times. I completely forgot about it until a couple of years ago, and this month I invited one of my friends to watch it with me because they like weird film. I think they liked it, but it’s also kind of a gross movie so I wouldn’t be offended if they had not liked it. They ended up giving it 3 1/2 stars on Letterboxd, and I’d say that’s pretty good.
The Secret of Moonacre (2008) ★★★1/2
When 13 year old Maria Merryweather’s father dies, leaving her orphaned and homeless, she is forced to leave her luxurious London life to go and live with Sir Benjamin, an eccentric uncle she didn’t know she had, at the mysterious Moonacre Manor.
This is one of my best friend’s favorite childhood movies, and I completely understand why. It has everything: whimsy, magic, and the coolest bedroom you’ve ever seen. I will say that the costume choices are absolutely insane, and I could not stop commenting on them much to the chagrin of Sam. Definitely want to rewatch this when I’m paying more attention (sorry Sam!!).
Scream (1996) ★★★★
A year after the murder of her mother, a teenage girl is terrorized by a masked killer who targets her and her friends by using scary movies as part of a deadly game.
Last year during Halloweekend I got very drunk at a party that ended 15 minutes after we got there. I was dressed as Ferris Bueller, and I had my sunglasses on in the dark. My group of friends and I stumbled back to our apartment and watched Scream. Because of the aforementioned drunkenness, I was unable to grasp what was happening on the screen, but I remember loving it.
This year, I wanted to rewatch it because it’s a classic and I would like to have a cognitive grasp on the movie itself. So, Sam and I watched it as the first movie in a three-film-extravaganza. I didn’t remember anything that happened during the film, but I remembered the twist ending which was a bit disappointing.
Practical Magic (1998) ★★★★
For two sisters from a family of witches, falling in love is the trickiest spell of all.
As the second film in our three-film-extravaganza, Practical Magic helped us recover from Scream. I absolutely love this movie, and it makes me cry every time I watch it. This time, I cried the entire first third of the movie. What gets me is the scene where she’s making the spell as a child about the man she’ll fall in love with, and Gillian says “But that man doesn’t exist!” and Sally says “Exactly.” OUCH. It doesn’t help that “Crystal” by Stevie Nicks is playing in the background. Do you always trust your first initial feeling?
Jennifer’s Body (2009) ★★★
Jennifer, a gorgeous cheerleader, takes evil to a whole new level after she’s possessed by a sinister demon. Now it’s up to her best friend to stop Jennifer’s reign of terror before it’s too late.
This was the final film in our three-film-extravaganza, and we watched it because Sam had seen the first half, but never finished it. This movie is so damn outdated but so fun to watch, and makes me want to take a class that studies the language that characters use in cult classic movies (Heathers could also be studied; “Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, do I look like Mother Theresa?”). I want to be Jennifer Check for Halloween someday.
Joker: Folie a Deux (2024) ★
While struggling with his dual identity, Arthur Fleck not only stumbles upon true love, but also finds the music that’s always been inside him.
This movie was terrible.
Music
Here’s my October playlist. Like I said, I’ve been feeling a little more hopeful this month, and my playlist really reflected that. Cozy favorites, folksy vibes, soft pop, and a sprinkle of Brat.
Literature
I read two books this month:
Love Letters: Virginia Woolf and Vita Sackville-West
I was feeling hopelessly romantic this month, and so I turned to the literature that I thought would cradle the feeling. I lovingly refer to this book as “Vita and Virginia” and I would read it every night before going to sleep.
Both of their writings are so beautifully constructed, and I held their feelings for each other close to my chest and felt it beneath the skin. I learned that the lovers met on my birthday (Dec. 14th!) and exchanged letters until Virginia’s death in 1941.
Reading their love affair through words given to each other over the span of ten years was enchanting, deeply romantic, and utterly devastating. As one goes through the book, you read through their lens, watching two people falling for each other, lovers exchanging their respective books, and eventually, their falling out. My favorite part was reading all of their inside jokes and learning the terms of endearment they would use for each other (Dearest, Potto, Orlando).
Women: A Novella by Chloe Caldwell
This was a novella that I had been searching for over a long period of time. I had read Caldwell’s memoir I’ll Tell You in Person, and wanted to read more by her, but couldn’t find her other books anywhere, and they were being sold at high prices online. While I was in London, I finally found a copy of Women at Gay’s the Word bookstore in Bloomsbury. At first, reading it was difficult for me because it felt like it was hitting me in the chest—too close to home.
Recently, I’ve been finding that the memories don’t hurt as much anymore, and so I wanted to revisit the novella. After I finished reading Vita and Virginia, I returned to Women and started where I had left off the last time. I absolutely loved it, and I’m glad I returned to it. The novella explores the pain that can be felt in realizing that a relationship that feels good may not actually be good for you, and does so with deepy relatable writing.
Vibes :)
Burnt orange and olive green, sunny days on a college campus, chai lattes made from left over steamed milk, working shifts with people you enjoy, painting your natural nails cherry red, being invited to Halloween parties for the first time, meeting new people and getting to know them, making dinner for you and your friends, buying flowers and then watching them dry out, rapidly cleaning your room because someone’s seeing your space for the first time, spending time with your mom, chunky socks and sweaters, the smell of fresh laundry, and movie nights with your best friend.
See you next month! <3